1. Wife and Neighbor
A husband enters the shower while his wife has just finished washing herself. The doorbell rings. The wife hastily wraps herself in a towel and runs to answer it. At the doorstep is their neighbor, Bob. Upon seeing her, Bob says, “I will give you 800 dollars if you take off the towel.” After thinking for a couple of seconds, the woman does so and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob gives her 800 dollars and leaves.
The wife puts the towel back on and returns to the bathroom.
“Who was that?” asks the husband.
“Bob,” the wife replies.
“Great,” says the husband, “did he mention the 800 dollars he owes me?”
Moral: Share information about loans given to shareholders; otherwise, you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.
Lesson 2. Priest and Nun
Once,
Once,
a priest offered to give a nun a ride home. Getting into the car, she crossed her legs, exposing her thigh. The priest barely avoided an accident. After straightening the car, he quietly puts his hand on her leg.
The nun says, “Father, do you remember Psalm 129?”
The priest removes his hand. But, changing gears, he again puts his hand on her leg. The nun repeats:
“Father, do you remember Psalm 129?”
The priest apologizes:
“I’m sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak.”
The priest removes his hand. But, changing gears, he again puts his hand on her leg. The nun repeats:
“Father, do you remember Psalm 129?”
The priest apologizes:
“I’m sorry, sister, but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the monastery, the nun sighs heavily and leaves. When he arrives at the church, the priest finds Psalm 129. It says: “Go on and search, higher you will find happiness.”
Moral: if you don’t know your job well, many opportunities for development will pass right in front of you.
Lesson 3. Accountant, secretary, manager, and genie
The accountant,
The accountant,
secretary, and manager went to lunch and found an ancient lamp. Not hoping for anything, they rubbed it, and to their surprise,
they saw a genie in front of them, who said:
“I will grant one wish to each of you.”
“I’m first, I’m first!” screamed the secretary. “I want to be on the Bahamas right now, on a boat, and not think about anything” – and disappeared.
“Now it’s my turn,” said the accountant. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach, with a massage, an endless supply of pina coladas, and the love of my life” – and also disappeared.
“Now it’s your turn,” the genie tells the manager.
“I want those two to return to the office after lunch.”
Moral: always let your boss speak first.
Lesson 4. The Eagle and the Rabbit
The eagle was sitting on a tree, resting and doing nothing.
A little rabbit saw the eagle and asked, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
“Of course, why not?” answered the eagle.
The rabbit sat down under the tree and began to rest. Suddenly, a fox appeared, caught the rabbit, and ate it.
“Of course, why not?” answered the eagle.
The rabbit sat down under the tree and began to rest. Suddenly, a fox appeared, caught the rabbit, and ate it.
Moral: To sit and do nothing, you must sit very, very high.
Lesson 5. The Turkey and the Bull
The turkey was talking to the bull.
“I dream of climbing to the top of the tree,” she sighed, “but I have so little strength.”
“Why don’t you peck at my dung?” replied the bull, “it has many nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at the pile of dung, and it indeed gave her enough strength to climb up to the lower branch of the tree.
“I dream of climbing to the top of the tree,” she sighed, “but I have so little strength.”
“Why don’t you peck at my dung?” replied the bull, “it has many nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at the pile of dung, and it indeed gave her enough strength to climb up to the lower branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating more, she reached the second branch. Finally, on the fourth day, the turkey proudly sat on top of the tree. There, she was noticed by the farmer who shot her with his gun.
Moral: Manipulating dung may help you climb to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
Lesson 6. The Little Bird
The little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that she froze in mid-air and fell to the ground in a large field. While she lay there, a cow walked by and defecated on her.
Lying in the cow dung, the bird suddenly felt warm. The cow dung had saved her life! The bird was so happy that she began to sing to express her joy. A passing cat heard the singing and decided to investigate.
Following the source of the sound, the cat found the bird, dug her out, and ate her.
Moral of the story:
Not everyone who defecates on you is your enemy.
Not everyone who gets you out of dung is your friend.
When you’re feeling good and warm, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.
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